Are you an instrument or an obstacle?

I’ve read and heard so much lately about a couple of topics that I feel it’s time for me to chime in. The first is bullying (or how our kids treat one another) and the second is Mommy guilt-also called the Mommy Wars.I don’t allow my daughter to sing “Nanny-nanny-boo-boo!!” to her brother or her friends. Obviously it’s not about the actual words, but about the intent of the person saying them. Her friend “G” was singing it the other day while they played chase, but Belle did not join in. I was considering changing my stance on it, thinking maybe I was being silly. But then I pictured her out on the playground, playing tag with her friends. And when they try to get her to join in the singing she can say “My mommy doesn’t like me to sing that song because it’s not nice.” Right in that moment she could be a vehicle for change in how we treat each other! No, I will not change my stance. I have always felt that teaching my children how to be “nice” people is my utmost mission-far and above any intellect I could pass on. What are you doing to end this bullying that is so prevalent among kids these days?Another issue is the pressure/guilt we put upon ourselves as parents-especially mothers. My friend recently learned that her 2-month-old baby has a mild heart defect. It will likely have very little impact on her daily life-she’ll have to take a round of antibiotics before any dental work or other such procedures, but that’s about it. While my friend realizes that it could be much worse, she is plagued with guilt of what she might have done during pregnancy to cause it. Could it be those eardrops she used (with doctor approval) to cure a bad case of swimmer’s ear? Could it be the fact that she couldn’t keep any food down for weeks? Who knows?? The fact is the baby is healthy and happy otherwise; worrying about all the “what ifs” isn’t going to change anything. How are you changing the way we, as women, blame ourselves for every possible blemish on our children? Should I be blaming myself for food I ate when I was pregnant that might have caused an allergy in Little Lamb? NO!!!!!We’ve got to let go of this guilt! Stop apologizing for using that blueberry muffin mix or that can of cream of whatever at dinner! I try to make most of my meals without processed foods, but really it’s not going to hurt now and then. Try to choose the quick-fix things wisely-like frozen vegetables-and you will find a delicious and healthy dinner much easier to accomplish. And if you find a good recipe that calls for canned something, try it during a week you won’t be using other prepared foods. And then move on…enjoy your family and stop beating yourself up!Ok, that’s it for now. Sorry to bore you with all my ranting on. I’m speaking to myself as much as anyone else.


One Response to “Are you an instrument or an obstacle?”

  1. I think it is so important to teach our children to be nice and polite. Our son at 21 months says please, thank you, excuse me and bless you. I am so proud of this little guy. We work on the being nice part everyday too. We watch my cousin’s little girl who is two months older and of course they fight so it gives me an opportunity to teach him to not hit and he must share. Keep up with your good work. AS mom’s we have an opportunity to raise our children not to bully.

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