Some days are better than others
Most days I absolutely love being a mother to 3 young kids.
Most days I’m happy to spend every moment (up until 9ish) with at least one child by my side.
Most days I can deal with the crying and whining and take it all in stride.
Most days I’m thankful that I stay home with my kids instead of working outside the home.
But occasionally I just feel like I’m suffocating.
Like when Belle repeatedly comes to me with tears in her eyes because once-a few weeks ago-I mentioned that it might be fun to go to a friend’s house without me there and it is totally stressing her out. I’ve said don’t worry about it. We’ll work something else out. Over. And over. And over again.
Or when Little Bear always seems to want to be held just as I start fixing dinner. I think he’s like me and gets “irritable” when he’s hungry. His timing is impecable. It’s hard enough to cook holding Little Lamb, but a 2.5 year old? No thanks!
Or how I can’t make it through a simple trip to the grocery store without Little Lamb screaming her head off. Today, for instance, I put she and Little Bear in the double stroller and got a small cart for the groceries. It works great until she decides she must be held. RIGHT NOW!!! So Belle had to push the stroller and I held Little Lamb and pushed the cart. We managed ok until I put Little Lamb back in the stroller to leave the store. Man was she angry!!!! The whole grocery store heard about it. So I hurried out of the store, loaded the kids in the car, then put up the stroller and the groceries. I could hear her screaming as I walked the cart to the little cart return thing. There was a very brief moment that I considered keeping on walking. Not forever. Just for a moment. But I couldn’t leave Belle and Little Bear strapped in to their chairs listening to that by themselves.
I’m quite weary of J’s ER schedule right now. We’re nearing the end of a string of 6 night shifts. Not only is it stressful to not have him home to help in the evenings, but keeping the kids quiet during the day while he sleeps is very tiring.
Ok, I’ve complained enough. I’m in a funk lately and I’m so ready to snap out of it. I’ve always been the glass-half-full type. Weeks like these where I’m constantly tired, stressed to the max, headaches every day, feeling like a rubber band about to snap…I’m not at my best.
I need to go find my happy place. If only I could remember where I put it. Must be burried in the pile of junk mail on the dining room table…