Difficult discussions

(AKA H is for Hard topics)

There are a lot of topics that can be tough to bring up with your spouse.  Maybe it’s your sex life (yes, I just wrote that), maybe it’s money, or kids, or maybe it’s death.

Strange, I know, but it’s something J and I have talked about somewhat.  Mostly on long car trips when we have hours to spend just talking to each other (and dealing with the children).  I was listening to Dr. Oz on XM several months ago talking about organ donors.  There is a much greater need for organs than there are donors.  That’s not surprising really, given our selfish natures.  However, for me, personally, being an organ donor is a no brainer.   Should I become ill and need an organ, I would hope and pray that someone would be willing to help me out.  It’s my philosophy that if I’d want someone to do something for me, I have to be willing to do it for them.  Make sense?  
Some people believe that putting a sticker on their Driver’s License is enough, but according to Dr. Oz and his guest, they may never even look at your license until it is too late.  If you want to be an organ donor, you need to tell your spouse, your parents, your children (when they are old enough to understand).  That’s who the doctors will be asking, should the time come.
I’ve also told J that, should I be killed in a car accident, I don’t want him to put up a sign on the side of the road.  I understand why people do that, but it’s just not what I would want.  If he and the kids want to plant a tree somewhere to remember me, that’s fine with me.  But I don’t want a physical reminder for the kids in the exact spot where I died.  That seems like too much for them.  Ultimately, I’d like them to forget the details like that and remember my love for them and for God’s beautiful creation.  
Ugh.  When I planned to write this, it seemed like a good idea.  Now, as I write it out, I’m tearing up at the thought of being separated from J and the kids.  I guess that’s the point, though.  We have certain ideas-hopes, dreams, plans-for our lives and it’s not fun to think about what would happen if… We need to talk with our families about these things.  I think, ultimately, it would be a comfort to know that you knew what your spouse wanted, that you were upholding their wishes.  If you never have the conversations, how would you know?
I pray that is a very, very long time before I have to deal with any of this heavy stuff.  But, it does give me a little peace to know that J and I have discussed these things.  And I promise tomorrow I’ll be back to my happy, fluffy posts.

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One Response to “Difficult discussions”

  1. Maybe tomorrow you can talk about those other topics you listed. lol j/k

    I think we had this conversation before… I wouldn’t want the sign in the exact spot where I died either… I think that makes it harder for the loved ones that pass by. Although, I will say this… sometimes seeing a sign (or cross, or whatever) reminds me to slow down… or to take that corner easy. So… positives can come out of them.

    To each his own…

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